Nerd Dad: State Fair (Feedbag '14)

Another MN State Fair is in the books. You know what that means? Summer is over. Pack away your flip flops and swim trunks, and pull out the flannels and boots. I hope you got everything in that you wanted to. A lot of kids start school tomorrow, and some already have. Over the summer I went from fish-belly-white to a little off-white. I know that I didn't get everything in that I wanted to, but it's hard to squeeze everything into 2.5 months.

Anyhow, we had our annual trip to the fair to eat, and we ate plenty. I was really looking forward to it this year to try a new food called a Breakfast Juicy LuLu. It's a Jucy Lucy of breakfast food, with sausage stuffed with cheese. They only served it until 11:00. Megan wanted to try another new food of breakfast nachos, served only until 10:30.

We got in the gates around 9:30, and went right to the first information booth we saw. The people working those booths know where everything is without Google. They're quite remarkable. We asked where the nachos and the LuLu's were. We were close to the nachos, and the LuLus were on the other end of the fair, so we swung by the nachos place first. Megan got them, and the egg on top was the best part. I give the dish a solid C.

Then it was off to the west end market where my LuLu's were. I passed many food stands along the way. I didn't want to spoil my appetite for what was sure to be a new highlight of the fair.

We arrived to the area around 10:15 and found the place selling them. I got in line about 15 people deep. The lady who got in line behind me was telling her adult son that she was going to order three of them. Megan found a table where we could sit and enjoy the bounty with which I'd return.

As I inched toward the counter for my Breakfast Juicy LuLu, I saw that they also sold something called Gorilla Bread. I had time in line to Google "Gorilla Bread," and it said it's a special cinnamon-type pastry bread. I thought it would compliment the no doubt savory Juicy LuLu, and I decided I'd get it too; as a surprise.

I was just next in line, one guy in front of me ordering, when someone from the kitchen yelled "we're out of Breakfast LuLu's!"

Out of Breakfast LuLu's? How could this be? It was only 10:30. They sold them until 11:00. My heart broke in two. Thinking about it again now makes me sad. How do you run out of an item at the State Fair? It wasn't the last day of the fair.

I had to step up and order. I confirmed with the guy what I just heard, and he confirmed they had just run out. I ordered the Gorilla Bread and slunk to the table where Megan was playing with Ozzie in his stroller.

I was too forlorn to think to take a picture of the Gorilla bread, but it was just okay. I kept thinking of what I did wrong to miss out on the item that brought me to the fair this year.

If the GPS on my phone didn't take us through construction, we would have arrived sooner and I would have gotten a LuLu.

If we had walked faster to the stand I would have gotten a LuLu.

If we had left the house earlier I would have gotten…

You get the idea. I was seriously crestfallen. I needed to sulk for a bit, but then it was onward to find other foods. I thought at least I could still get my fair favorite; a deep fried slider. They were sold at Axel's on the outside corner of the food building. We had passed where I thought Axel's was, but there was a different vendor there. I thought Axel's must've moved. I asked another information booth where they moved to, and was told that they are gone. The person said the Axel's people now run the LuLu's booth.

Seriously?

We walked around the fairgrounds all day. We spent 7.5-8 hours there. Ozzie was good as can be. He tried all of the food we got, and we even got him his own milk for $1.00 outside the cattle barn. He fell asleep for about 20 minutes in his stroller too. We don't know how he did that in the heat, with all of the people and noise, but you'll see him below catching some Zzz's.

I know I've had Sweet Martha's Cookies before. I wanted to try them again for the purpose of this blog, but the lines were always insanely long. Since I know I've had them before, and they're not on my must-have list, let me tell you that they're just chocolate chip cookies, people. Do you like that they're warm? Bake some at home. They're always warm right out of the oven. You don't even need to make the dough. Get the refrigerated dough that pulls apart. Do you like that you can get a bucket of them? Bake some at home and put them in a bucket before you eat them. They're. Just. Cookies.

With the disappearance of my State Fair staple food, I had to find a new reason to go to the fair. I found it at a booth near the all you can drink milk stand. The booth is painted with a Canadian flag, and the food is Poutine. French fries covered in gravy and cheese curds. I've had it there before and liked it, but it has now stepped into a starring role. It was Colin Quinn on Saturday Night live, but now Poutine is Colin Quinn when he anchored Weekend Update.

Another new food this year caught my attention. Deep fried Buckeyes. They're at the Deep Fried Twinkies stand. Buckeyes are peanut butter balls dipped in chocolate, batter, and deep fried. They're dusted with powered sugar before handed to you. They're sugary, sweet and delicious. I think I got to cavities just eating them.