Vacation, got to get away

Ozzie turned one last week. I thought I might write a report card of his first year here, and grade myself as a dad, but you've heard it all before from any parent. Ozzie makes me laugh and smile every day. I couldn't be more proud of him, and (as I'm sure it is with any new parent) it's been a year of trial and error. I feel like I'm a good dad to him; a natural father actually, and Megan is a tremendous mom.

This past Christmas Megan's mom said she'd put us up in a hotel in Wisconsin Dells for two nights in the summer and she'd watch Ozzie. I kind of forgot about it until Megan told me that it was all set for right after Ozzie's birthday. We each took a week off work and went on vacation, just the two of us for the first time in six years.

We dropped off Ozzie with grandma, spending the night at her house in LaCrosse, WI so we could leave early the next morning. We were on the road for the 90 minute drive to the Dells at 9:00am. We stopped at a gas station on the way out of town and realized that we could both actually go in together; one didn't have to stay in the car with Oz. That was when vacation officially begun.

We couldn't check into the hotel until 1:00 We pulled into downtown Dells around 11:00. Megan wanted to look for fudge for grandma and Kelly, who watched Henry Don, our dog. Right off the highway, and barely into downtown, there was an old-time candy shop selling fudge. It was so cool inside that I took a picture.

It turned out that these old-time candy shops are on every block of downtown. They were all fun and smelled like sugar. Some even had free samples. We were parked across from a Mexican restaurant and The Torture Museum. We had just gotten into town and were ready to have fun. The restroom in the Mexican restaurant was for customers only, so we had to order something to use the facilities. We got an appetizer that was disgusting, but Megan said she liked it. It was chili cheese dip, but the place was "authentic." Authentic Mexican food isn't for Nerd Dad.

Next door was The Torture Museum. Since it was right there, and it had some cool skeletons and scary music playing in the lobby, we paid admission to go in. That was a mistake. It was mildly interesting. Think Pace Picatnte sauce mild. Just a bunch of torture devices that have been used throughout history. I'd love to have our money back for this waste of time.





Moving right along, with buyer's remorse in my stomach, there was a guy doing air brush tattoos for only $7, two for $10. We each got a temporary tattoo for our vacation.

The Diceman cometh

We checked into the Great Wolf Lodge around 1:30. A nice, family-friendly resort with an indoor and outdoor water park. We both really wanted to soak up some rays on vacation and come home a nice maple syrup brown, but mother nature had other plans. As soon as we got our room we changed into our suits and went to the outdoor pool. It was mostly cloudy. I read my book, and Megan got a bucket of beer from the outdoor  bar. We were out there for about 30 minutes and it started to rain. We packed everything up and went in. After we washed off the sunscreen we looked out the window to see it pouring rain. It stayed that way for the rest of the night. 

Megan had read about mining for jewels in the Dells. We found the place and did some mining. It was fun, but a little weird. You pay $15-$165 for a bucket of sand that they've stocked with jewels. You pour the sand into a sifting pan and they have a stream of water where you can sift it. Then you take your "treasure" to a counter and someone tells you what each gem is. We split a $15 bucket and came home with a bag of different birthstones. 

We had a good dinner at a sports bar, Monk's, and then went to the Rick Wilcox magic show. It was a very good show where he did all of the magician's tricks; the rope that keeps splitting and becoming whole, ripping up a newspaper and then putting it back together, and the like. He did some great illusions with a Rubik's cube, and made a helicopter appear out of thin air. The show closes with Wilcox making it snow in the theater. The 90-minute show is well worth the $40 ticket, and was my highlight of the trip.  

The next morning looked sunny from our window, and we dashed out to the pool as soon as it opened at 10:00. There were once again short periods of sun in mainly overcast skies. There wasn't just a breeze, it was windy and cold. We endured it as long as we could. 

The Great Wolf Lodge sells discount tickets for many attractions in the Dells. We had both been on the Original Ducks tour as children and wanted to do it again. We bought the discounted tickets from the desk and went downtown for lunch, and to ride the Ducks. Lunch was good at the High Rock Cafe, and then we went to catch the shuttle to the Ducks. As we waited, the sun came out in full force. It was hot and sunny, and Megan made the call to ride the Ducks the next day so we could hurry back to the pool to tan. 

Awesome dessert at the High Rock with house-made Kit Kat's

We were by the pool again for about an hour before it started to rain. We packed everything up and looked up bingo at Ho Chunk Casino. It started at 6:30. We went to bingo. It's always really long when you don't win, but the session was 4 hours. It only cost $30 (each), so it was a good value for the time spent. I wish we could have walked away with something. After bingo we went to a bar downtown that has a huge karaoke sign out front. They had a live band playing instead of karaoke, and there were only about four patrons inside. We walked up and down the main drag, and it was a ghost town. It was a Tuesday night, but it was almost eerie how each bar only had about four people inside drinking with music blaring. Megan had a martini at the High Rock and I bought a Wisconsin Dells hat. I was falling in love with the Dells. 

Lies

Ghost town at night

The next day was our last. We had to check out by 11:00. We had breakfast at Mr. Pancake and it was good, despite Megan's omelet being cold enough to send back. I had peanut butter pancakes that were awesome. We still had those Duck tickets that we had to use, and it was overcast and cold that day. I didn't think I'd have to pack a sweatshirt for the trip, and I knew it would be cold on the water, so I went to one of the many souvenir shops and bought a Wisconsin Dells sweatshirt for the Ducks ride. 

Peanut butter pancakes

We packed up all of our stuff in the room and checked out. The Ducks were what I remembered. The tour guide even used some of the same jokes they used 25 yeas ago. Not that it was bad. It's a fun ride through the woods, and on the lake and river in Wisconsin Dells. We had our last lunch at Pizza Pub. It was an okay pizza buffet. 

We wanted to squeeze more fun out of our trip before going back to real life, and had kept passing this place called Top Secret. It looked like The White House upside down. There was a sign outside that said admission was $5 today only (the sign was there every day). We went there and ended our vacation with a dud. Top Secret is a direction-less attraction. It doesn't know if it wants to be a haunted house, or a funky museum, or what. It's established up front that The White House landed from space upside down in Wisconsin Dells, and everything is on the ceiling. Chairs and beds are all suspended above your head. Some of it is dark hallways with loud bumps and sounds, some rooms are just empty with everything on the ceiling. It was only $5, so we scooted through and called it a trip. We agreed that it wasn't as stupid as the Torture Museum, but a close, close second. 

Top Secret. Top Stupid. 

Wisconsin Dells is a really fun tourist town. I can't recommend it enough. I had only been to the Dells once when I was about 10, and there are lots of attractions for kids. There's also a lot of stuff for adults. I would have liked one more day just so we had a chance to breathe in between everything. It was okay that it was cloudy and rainy while we were there as it gave us the chance to do everything that we did. Now I realize the necessity of a vacation, but it didn't really feel like time-off until our first full day at home, not working. I miss the Dells, and I'm sure it misses me. I look forward to taking Ozzie there when he's old enough to appreciate it.