Caribbean Cruise - We get to the ship

Megan and I just returned from our week-long Caribbean cruise. I don't want the party to end, so I'll detail our trip here in segments, with pictures. 

Our Royal Caribbean cruise left Galveston, TX at 16:30 on Sunday 2/15/15. Our flight to the ship left MSP airport at 5:10 that morning. We had to catch a connector in Charlotte, NC to get to Texas. My brother, Tony, was gracious enough to give us a ride to and from the airport. He picked us up at our house at 2:30am. I had just seen the Sleater-Kinney concert at 1st Ave and got about an hour of sleep. 

I had lost 20 pounds for this all inclusive cruise. It was our first cruise experience. We had (over)packed two big suit cases to check, and a carry-on each. We set a timer for a light to go on every night, and locked up the house. It was zero degrees. We arrived at 3:10 and bid my brother farewell.

We entered the airport and there were about 20 people standing there with luggage, and no one behind the US Airways counter. I didn't know what to do. It had been about 7 years since I'd flown anywhere. I didn't know 2015 flight protocol. Finally after sweating bullets for 10 minutes, two people came out to take checked bags. 

I had researched on their site that bags over 50 pounds are charged an over-sized bag fee. I hoisted my suit case up on the scale and it was 56 pounds. She told me that I could try to stuff some things into my carry-on back pack, or pay an extra $100 over-sized fee. There were people in line behind me, and my stress was going through the roof. Megan's suit case was only 40-some pounds, so the lady gave us hers to move stuff into. 

After jamming a pair of shoes into my back pack, and moving some other stuff to Megan's suit case, they both came in at around 48 pounds. I basically made $100 right there. 

Then we went through the TSA security with our shoes off. It was my first experience with the X-ray machine where you have to hold your hands up. I had my wallet in my pocket, and a guy had to finger through it after the scan. Then I could lace my shoes back up and continue to our gate. 

As we sat and waited for our boarding, Megan noticed a gal talking to the employee at the desk. She said to me that she looked like our friend Seniz. We could only see her profile, but I thought she did too. Then the girl turned all the way around, and it WAS Seniz. She was on our flight to Charlotte. As a drunk guy at one of the first drinking-parties I ever went to said "it's a small world, but I'd hate to clean it."

Airport selfie

We boarded, and sat for 30 minutes as there was frost that needed to be de-frosted from the plane. The captain didn't turn on the overhead lights, and the guy sitting next to me read a book by the light of the exit sign. I told him that I wouldn't mind if he turned on the reading light. He nodded and went back to the dim, red EXIT light. I'm no airplane expert, but this plane was old. It reminded me of the plane the Cleveland Indians get in Major League.

We transferred to a nicer plane in North Carolina, and I managed to find a comfortable upright position in my seat to fall asleep. I was out for about 15 minutes when Megan nudged me awake for the drink cart. Now I had slept for an hour and 15 minutes total. I thought the flight attendant was Jm J. Bullock. You know, Monroe from Too Close For Comfort? He was also a staple on Hollywood Squares. When was the last time you heard anything about Jm J. Bullock? I don't remember either. That's because he's a flight attendant now. I didn't see a name tag, but if I had it probably would have said Jm. 

We landed in Houston and Royal Caribbean had a shuttle that took us to the port where our ship, Navigator of the Seas, waited. We checked in at the port with our passports that we got for the trip. (My first passport) We got our plastic Sea Pass cards that is your life line on the ship. The only time cash is ever exchanged on board is in the casino. Everything else (excursions, drinks, specialty dining, etc) is charged to the Sea Pass card and charged to a credit card at the end. You don't even need your passport again, but you need your Sea Pass card to get back on board from a port. 

Our ports were Falmouth, Jamaica, Georgetown, Grand Cayman, and Cozumel, Mexico. After 12 hours of travel, we were finally on board, and on VACATION! 

Next I'll detail Day 1. 

LIKEHELL and Run Westy Run

In the late 90's I loved festival concerts. I could go to Edgefest in Sommerset, WI and see all of the popular bands for the price of one ticket. At Edgefest 4 in 1997 I got to see Beck, Rollins Band, Iggy Pop, Local H (remember them?), and a handful of others who were popular at the time. One band that played early in the day was a local band called Likehell. I'd never heard of them, but I was there.

Usually the bands early in the day just ruin your conversations, harsh your mellow; but I loved Likehell from the first note. They played good, albeit simple, rock and roll with hard rock undertones. The lead singer, Nick Eldorado, didn't play an instrument, but he was a show in himself. I couldn't take my eyes of his stage antics. He strutted around like they were the headliners for the night.

I made a note to catch them next time I could, which was easy since they're a Minneapolis band. I saw them again at the 7th Street Entry, and Eldorado was full of as much energy as he was at Edgefest in the intimate venue. I loved it. I tried not to miss a show when I saw they were playing. I saw them at The Uptown Bar, The Quest, The Fine Line, Lee's Liquor Lounge, and First Ave. Probably more places too, but I don't remember.

It was at the beginning of my drinking career, so I was pie-eyed most of the times I saw them, but I enjoyed every performance. The liquid courage made me approach each member of the band in the various clubs before and after shows sometimes. They probably knew me as "that drunk guy." I learned that Eldorado and the drummer, Tony Baloney, are brothers. Eldorado once told me that their dad would be playing Christmas music before their next show at The Uptown, so I was there early to see Mr. Oliveri (their real last name) playing a keyboard.

I felt cool, and still do, that I had a local band that I knew about and could take friends to see. They either stopped gigging, or I found new drunken interests in the mid-00's, and stopped seeing them. I 'like' their Facebook page, and knew about a show they did last year around this time at The Entry. Ozzie was only 6 months old and I couldn't get out to see them. They recently advertised that they'd be opening for a band called Run Westy Run on 12/26/14. Mommy and Ozzie were going out of town, so I knew I had to go to this show.

This New Year's Day will mark 4 years sober for me. I was excited to see them sober for the first time since 1997. I had heard the name Run Westy Run, but had never seen them. There's a guy at work with whom I talk music, and I brought them up. He said they had some legendary shows in the 90's. When I told him I'm actually going to see Likehell he told me that he played with them in the early 90's, before I got into them. He advised that I not miss Run Westy Run.

I walked into First Avenue for the first time since 2006 when I saw Ray Davies with my dad. I've been to a lot of shows there, but obviously not recently. It hasn't changed much. I walked around familiarizing myself again with the legendary club. I know that they'll sometimes post a trivia question on Twitter for a chance to win a seat at a table for the show, so I looked at Twitter. Sure enough there was a question there that no one had answered. I Googled it, posted the answer, and won the table.

A server showed me to my table, which was upstairs right on the edge. A great seat, and I had been worried about standing for the whole night. I ordered a Diet Coke and awaited Likehell. I had almost forgot that it was always fun to see how Eldorado would take the stage. The band starts playing first, and he has come out in a dress and combat boots, or decked out in all-white with a boat Captain hat (that he threw into the audience and I scored) before. This show was no different. He shakily walked to the mic wearing a long white wig, a robe, and using a walker. I thought Likehell is here!

He shed the get-up after the first song, donning a silver lamé suit. They played all of the favorites that I remember, and a few new tunes in a 45-minute set. Eldorado shimmied and shook as he did back in the day as the nightclub slowly filled. I was happy to be at a table, and happy to be sober.

Eldorado did the worm to the mic stand before the last song

A band called BNLX was on next. They were good. Solid rock and roll. I missed some of their set when I had to go move my car from the meter I parked at right outside. It turned into a tow-away zone at 11:00, and I had only paid until 10:00. I moved it into the ramp behind the Target Center and was back in time for the end of their set. The nice server informed me the table and chair were mine for the night. I was glad I didn't have to say jack-jack-seat-back.

Run Westy Run took the stage at 11:00, and First Avenue was almost full by then. Their lead singer was also fun to watch. Not playing an instrument, he bopped and weaved all over the stage. After about four songs I thought to myself this IS a great band. Every song sounded different in the way The Pixies mix up their sound. Their 90-minute set was an excellent way to end the night. I drove home with a few of their songs I had just heard for the first time in my head.

RWR doesn't play much anymore, so unfortunately I don't know if I'll get a chance to see them again. We celebrate a new year in a few days. If you think of bands as "friends," I got to make new friends, and keep the old. One was silver and the other was gold. 

My evening of theater

Almost 20 years ago I joined an improv theater going by the name of Comedy Olympix. That was my "college" experience. I made friends who are still my friends to this day, several of whom were in my wedding. One friend I made there was actor Zach Curtis. He didn't have a car, and I would give him rides home occasionally. We started hanging out more and more, and eventually were joined at the hip. He lived in his parent's basement at the time, and I remember sleeping over once. We stayed up in the dark, he in bed and me lying on the floor, joking and laughing (and farting) until the wee hours of the morning; like a couple of kids in junior high.

We eventually lived together for a while in what my friend Jim affectionately called the "Den of Debauchery." During that time I would go see Zach in shows, and I knew that he was theatrically gifted. We eventually grew apart, and Facebook brought us back together. I haven't seen him in a show since 1998, but every review I read for his latest, The Whale, is better than the last. I was able to get out of the house for the evening to catch my old partner-in-crime in the show, and I'm so glad I did.

In The Whale Curtis plays Charlie, a 600-pound shut-in who teaches writing online (through audio, too ashamed to show his students his obese stature). Charlie grunts and wheezes for breath simply adjusting himself on the sofa, where he spends the majority of his time. His only friend is a nurse, Liz, who enables Charlie's unhealthy lifestyle, and gives him on-the-house nursing treatment (checking blood pressure, listening to his chest, etc.)

The cast is only five people, but every one of them gives a stellar performance. I don't want to give away the plot, just go see this show. I got a $10 'economic accessibility' ticket, so I saw it for cheaper than a movie on a Saturday night. Curtis's performance is so good that I felt uncomfortable watching him struggle to stand up from the couch to use his walker. I forgot that he was my old pal, and saw a 600-pound whale of a man.

The Whale A

After the show, I had time to speed to the Bryant-Lake Bowl for the sold out A Very Die Hard Christmas. I asked the box office if they had room for one more, and they did. After the dark subject matter of The Whale, I'm glad I went to see some comedy, and Christmas is funny. 

It's a vulgar parody of a lot of Christmas specials we all know, and look forward to, wrapped around the Die Hard plot; written by, and starring, Josh Carson, who I know by directing him in 48-Hour films. We don't really know each other, but we kinda do. The script for this show proves what a talent Carson is. 

The whole theater is used for the show; they even cast the entire audience as holiday party-goers. They happened to pull me on stage as Mr. Nakatomi, the Japanese president of the building overtaken by terrorists. I stood tongue-tied on the stage where I've performed dozens of shows. Rusty after years away from the stage, I couldn't form Japanese gibberish. It was fun to be onstage again, if only for a minute. They even called me back up at the end for a bow. 

The show features songs, and puppets, and blood. A lot of blood. It winks at the audience several times throughout, and some jokes hit hard. I belly laughed several times, and when I wasn't laughing I was smiling. It's a great show with a talented cast. Tom Reed stands out as antagonist Hans Gruber. Others are cast in several different roles, and they have fun with that too. The audience is in on all of the jokes, and it plays to the top of its intelligence. 

A Very Die Hard Christmas A

Dance Break

Mike Doughty's World Renowned Question Jar Show

 

Former Soul Coughing front man Mike Doughty, 44, played two shows at the Dakota Jazz club tonight. I was lucky enough to score a ticket to the late show, and I gotta say, the late show was a great show. It was just Doughty on guitar (acoustic, electric, and banjo), and admirable cellist Andrew "Scrap" Livingston on (what else?) cello.

 

On my inaugural trip to The Dakota, I gave my name at will call, which was just a table set up outside the restaurant's door in the lobby of a Target HQ. That lobby started to fill with hipsters, young and old, waiting to get in. Around 8:50 the early show let out, and the people exiting had to stick-and-move their way through us. Finally we were let into the club at 9:20.

 

See The Dakota in the bottom left?

 

I found my seat, which was at a table with a couple, Todd and Amy. I was less than ten feet away from the stage. When I heard about this show I thought it was going to be in December. When I started researching it, I realized I had snost and lost as it was already sold out. I checked the site a few days later and they were selling single tickets, and I bought one without delay. Todd and Amy were cordial; Todd telling me that Doughty is a recovered addict. I can't believe I didn't know that, and now his memoir, The Book of Drugs, is next on my reading list.

 

The question jar was sitting on a small merch table on the way into the intimate venue. I entered Will you take a selfie with me? and What is your favorite Minneapolis memory? The 9:00 show started promptly at 10:00. Doughty played a couple tunes and then asked Livingston for a question from the jar. The two have a great rapport on stage after Scrap reads the question aloud.

 

I was hoping for some road stories, or stories about how he writes, or any stories at all, but the questions were yes/no, or easily one-word-answer questions. A few examples:

Q: Rollerblading Yes or No? A: He shouted NO! for the laugh, but then said do whatever you want.

Q: Is mayonnaise an instrument? A: No.

Q: What is your favorite flavor of milkshake? A: Vanilla

Q: Where are all the white women at? A: Minnesota (he had some fun with this one)

 

The music was tight, Doughty's voice was on, and every song in the 85-minute set was enjoyable. It was a treat to hear the handful of Soul Coughing songs I've heard a million times in the stripped down, acoustic arrangements. The highlight of the night was Lazy Bones to the cello, and Doughty fiddling with a plastic box with knobs that may have been a synthesizer. What ever it was, it sounded like music from Mars, and I'd pay for a version of it; were it on iTunes.

 

I love how he handled the obligatory "encore." Before playing the penultimate song of the main set he announced "this is the last song before the fake last song." Then after the fake last song, he thanked the crowd, said goodnight, and they both turned around and stood onstage with their backs to the audience. After just a few seconds they faced the audience again and played two more songs.

 

Despite the lack of stories, the music carried the Saturday night show. The relaxed, comedic banter between the two was refreshing between songs, and Doughty came off as easy going and quite approachable. Neither of my questions were read, but Livingston would read some to himself and throw them out to get a different one. Maybe they've learned that the quick answers make for a better/tighter show. I would see this show again. I give it an A.

 



Dice's Book-The Filthy Truth

In the early 90's I started high school (1991), and discovered Andrew Dice Clay. Here was this guy dressed in leather, smoking cigarettes, and telling dirty nursery rhymes. It was nothing I'd ever seen, and I couldn't get enough. I loved his whole character. 

Other kids listened to Milli Vanilli or Paula Abdul in their bedrooms. I listened to Dice's comedy albums, and knew them word-for-word. I edited all of the curse words on the album Dice Rules together in one long string of vulgarities. I found a poster of The Diceman at Spencer's Gifts and had it on my wall. He's always been an inspiration to me. 

I got to see him live with my buddy Jimmy D

On 11/11/14 Andrew Dice Clay's autobiography The Filthy Truth was released. I downloaded it on my Kindle that night. Clay, 57, has been out of the spotlight for years, and I couldn't wait to see what he's been up to. Unfortunately the book doesn't live up to the legend. It started when he's six years old. He talks about his parents and sister, referring to them throughout the book as The Originals. 

Personally I don't like when celebrities start their books with their childhoods. I don't buy their book to find out that they were a class clown in elementary school. I want it to start when their career started. Clay waxes on about his childhood for the first 15% of the book, finally mentioning a comedy club around there, and doesn't start talking about the beginning of his career until about 20%. 

His first bit was coming on stage as Jerry Lewis's Nutty Professor, then he'd drink the elixir, there'd be a black out, and when the lights came back up, he'd be Travolta in Grease singing Greased Lightning. He references that it was the 70's, before YouTube, and he had to see Grease in the theater three times to learn the song and choreography. The way it's written, this was the only bit he did, and his dad would book him at discos for $800-$1,000 a night. 

The chapters are short without much substance. The book isn't written in the Dice voice, but Clay's Brooklyn dialect sneaks in from time to time. A lot of pages are devoted to sexual encounters he had. These parts come off as a high schooler bragging that he had sex. They're not funny, and go into too much detail. The worst is when Clay describes a couple he heard having sex in the next hotel room. He describes the whole encounter. I started skipping through these parts.

He discusses coming up through LA's famous Comedy Store, where he lived in the comic house with, most notably, Yakov Smirnoff. He describes some of the antics that happened in the house, but is derailed by talking about women. He mentions a young Sam Kinison and how they were friends, Dice even writing Kinison's opener. He talks about their feud later in the book,  and even memorializes him in a short chapter.

The interesting stuff is around the filming and release of Ford Fairlane. He talks about how he was banned for life from MTV, and his subsequent appearance on Saturday Night Live, which was boycotted by cast member Nora Dunn. These too were interesting, because I knew that they happened, but Clay gives his side of these stories. I feel like I learned something reading them.
Clay was featured in a short-lived VH1 reality series, that I think only I watched, that he only gives one paragraph to. He never mentions his appearance on Arsenio Hall in 1990 where he cried.

The book is a quick, easy read. Because I'm such a fan, I would have liked the denser version of his career, and comedy stories. It's a fun sized bag of potato chips when I would have liked a steak off the grill. I hate to have to give the book a C-.

Sleater-Kinney Reunites

May 3rd, 1997

I didn't know it when I woke up that day. I didn't even know it for several years, but my life changed forever 5/3/97. I had read about a new band called Sleater-Kinney that was coming to First Avenue's 7th Street Entry. It was a Saturday, and I must not have had to work at Subway that day, because I was able to go to The Entry and see this band that I knew nothing about.

Three girls took the stage for the early show. It was a 6:00 all-ages show. I remember thinking that I was seeing something special in the 250-capacity room. I watched as the two guitarists sang different lyrics over each other. I'd never seen anything like it, or thought that was even possible, but I loved the sound. I immediately bought their album Dig Me Out from the small merchandise table after the show, and couldn't wait to get home to listen to it on my CD player in my bedroom.

I played it constantly, and felt cool that there was a small indie band that only I knew about (in my circle of friends). Since then I've seen Sleater-Kinney live two more times. Once for the tour in support of All Hands on the Bad One in First Avenue's mainroom, and the last time they were in town, 6/15/05 also in the mainroom after The Woods came out, before the band went on indefinite hiatus in 2006. 

I remember the day they announced their hiatus on their website. It was sad news. Usually if you have a favorite band, you know that they'll always be there, unless one of the members dies. My favorite band died. I never thought they'd be back. At least I had their seven albums to listen to for the rest of my days. 

At that last show in 2005 someone peeled a setlist from the stage and threw it into the crowd. I leapt with my 4-6 inch vertical jump, and snatched it out of the air amongst dozens of reaching hands. 

Andrea Swensson of The Current recently wrote that she loves music (in general) "to an uncomfortable degree--so much it hurts; so much I wish I could eat it." That's exactly how I feel about Sleater-Kinney's rock and roll. In 2011 I heard a song on The Current and I thought I heard the accomplished drumming of S-K's Janet Weiss in the song. It was Wild Flag. I learned that Wild Flag was a new band including Weiss and S-K lead guitarist Carrie Brownstein. I bought that album when it came out, and it's a good listen with 2/3 of S-K in the band. 

I heard about S-K releasing a box set of all of their albums on special vynal this October. It sounded neat, but I don't have a record player, and even if I did, I have all of their albums already. Maybe some day down the road I'd find it used for cheap and could add it to my memorabilia, but didn't give it much thought. As people who ordered it started to receive it in the mail, they reported a 45 that came with it that has a new song on it, and nothing but a date of 1/20/15 on the sticker. 

On the morning of 10/20/14, I sat at my desk at work with a music hangover from seeing Pearl Jam the night before. I checked Facebook and saw the announcement that Sleater-Kinney is REUNITING,  releasing a NEW ALBUM ON 1/20/15, including a TOUR WITH A STOP AT FIRST AVENUE!!! 

After seeing the news, it was hard for me to concentrate the rest of the day. I started thinking of ways I could see them in Omaha the day before they're here, or in Milwaukee the day after, or hell, go to all three shows! Then I came back to reality and realized that I'm a married Nerd Dad now, and life doesn't go on hold for a weekend the way it could when I saw them in 1997. And lived with my parents. And worked at Subway. 

I worked from home on the day that tickets went on sale, and I'm so happy I did. I was able to buy a ticket the minute they went on sale. After I got my ticket in my email, I went back to see if they were still for sale. They went on sale at 12:00 and by 12:09 they were sold out. I still hold out hope that they'll move it to a bigger venue with seats. I don't want to sit during S-K, but with MS my muscles fatigue after standing too long, and the doors open at 8:00. The show starts at 9:00 with an opener. I want to get as close as possible, so if I get in line before 8:00, I might be standing for 3 hours before they even take the stage. 

The reunion is a dream come true. I'd die if I could meet and/or just get a picture with one or all of them. Comment below, or PM me, on ways I could make that happen. My dad was a great influence on my musical tastes, and I hope that Ozzie follows the path of passion for music his dad likes. With Sleater-Kinney back together, I might be able to take my son to see them when he's older. 

That'd be all right.