Mommy and Daddy Date Night

"The best play I've ever seen."

                           -Megan Anderson

Mommy and Nerd Dad got to go out tonight. Grandma is in town from LaCrosse, WI and watched Ozzie, so we got a Groupon for The Butcher Block, an Italian restaurant in SE Minneapolis, and made a reservation for 5:30. Early, I know, but we wake up at 5:00am all week. We're a couple in our 30's who could pass for our 70's. 

We dined there one other time last November with a Living Social deal, and Megan really liked it. I thought it was okay. Tonight Megan referred to herself as a foodie. I guess she is. Tonight she really liked it again, and I would call it not good, not bad. I ordered Chicken Parmesan that was served over mashed potatoes. I also ordered the deconstructed canolli for dessert, and I wish they would have called it what it really is: three baby scoops of paint-flavored ice cream with three waffle cone chips. 

Earlier today we'd discussed going to a movie, but there are none in theaters that we want to see. My old friend Zach Curtis (whom you can read about here) stars in a play at the Theater Garage, that is getting excellent reviews, called Boeing Boeing. Tonight's show was sold out, but I know one of the people in the show. He told me to wait and see if he could do anything. It turned out that he could; he was able to scrounge up two seats for us, and we're grateful. 

As a writer, I'm always procrastinating whatever I'm writing. My last evening of theater inspired me to start a stage play. I wrote furiously on it for about a week, getting through 20 pages, but then my inspiration dried up. Within 5 minutes of this show starting, it was back, and I look forward to picking that script up where I left off. Enough about that. I put this in here to hold myself accountable. Now I can't cock-off. 

 Boeing Boeing is hilarious. It's established right away that Bernardo (Sam Landman) lives in his flat in Paris with his New Yorker fiancé Gloria (Rachel Finch). Gloria is a flight attendant, and needs to catch her next plane, or go to work. On her way out the door, Bernardo's old friend Robert (Curtis) arrives, and they catch up for the 20 years, or 18 years and 9 months, that they haven't seen each other. Robert lives in Wisconsin and doesn't have much to say. Bernardo tells his friend about how Gloria is just one of his three fiancés that he juggles. 

All of his harem are flight attendants, coming and going; sometimes daily. None of the fiancé's know about each other, and all think they are Bernardo's main squeeze. Bernardo's maid, Berthe (Mo Perry), knows about all three of the women, and covers Bernardo's tracks; even swapping out pictures of the girls as one leaves and another is on her way over. We meet his Italian fiancé Gabriella (Stacia Rice), and German fiancé Gretchen (Sara Richardson). 

Today is the day that flights are cancelled, or returned due to weather, and all of the fiancé's are in town, dropping by to see their one and only Bernardo. He's fortunate that his friend Robert stopped by today so he can help with the deception of the women as they come and go. Bernardo takes one out to "the countryside," while Robert spins plates back at the flat trying to keep the other two from running into each other. 

Director Craig Johnson nails the airplane-sized job of directing this cast of incredible actors, who pull off the timing (entrances and exits, along with comedic) impecably. Even if you don't find the show funny (which you'd have to be the biggest grouch in the world not to), you'll be impressed with how they pull it off. I wish I could call out one performance that stands out, but each cast member is funny, strong, and crucial to the story. I can't say enough good things about this show. It runs until April 4th. Get your tickets here. 

A+

Caribbean Cruise - Epilogue

The picture above is on the bus back to the airport to take us home. Don't we look relaxed? Like we just had the week of our lives? Because we just did. 

We woke up and had breakfast in the main hall for our last meal on the ship. I had my usual: ham and cheese omelet and french toast. Megan had her oatmeal, and then it was back to our room to shower, grab our carry on bags and leave our room. All-inclusive means tips too. We never had to tip any waitstaff or bartenders as it's all factored in to the cost. I'd read, and GK told me, that you should tip your room attendant if they do a good job. Our room attendant, Kareem, was wonderful, and we handed him a saw buck ($10) on the way out. 

See? You don't get much French Toast. We met in the theater and waited to disembark the ship. We only waited a few minutes and it was time to follow everyone off and pick up our luggage that we left out the night before. It was easy to find. We breezed through customs in about one minute, and it was across the street to the bus. We took a seventy minute ride to the Houston airport where I could access the internet again. Megan talked to her mom about Ozzie on the phone for the whole ride.

They get the people off the ship in a hurry, and early, because they make it all nice for new passengers to board the same day and they do it all over again. Another 3,000+ people embark for a week to remember; while we go home with a lifetime of memories. That's cheesy, I know, but I'm getting nostalgic thinking about it. 

We had about a six hour wait at the Houston airport where we took the airport trolley to other terminals to check out their food. I worked at Blockbuster Video in 1995 with a girl from Texas who said that we needed Whataburger in Minnesota. I always remembered that, and got to try Whataburger in Houston. You know what? We do need Whataburger in Minnesota. It was a really good fast food burger. 

We found two comfy chairs next to an outlet where we could charge our phones. We read our books, and looked at our pictures. We even snapped a few in the airport on a cool, arty mode that Megan found. I wish I knew how to work the camera better on the trip, but I'm pleased with the photos we got. 

While we sat and wasted time, it was kind of a long walk to the bathroom. Megan returned and told me that she saw Rod (Ron) and Angela sitting near the Chili's. She didn't talk to them. I went over to say goodbye, and get confirmation on Rod's (Ron's) name. Angela was looking at their pictures when I went and shook Rod's (Ron's) hand. They also had a great week. I wished them the best and went back to my chair... forgetting to confirm his name. 

We flew from Houston to Dallas, and then Dallas to MSP where my brother was right on time picking us up. I was going to go into work late the next morning, but instead I had to go with mom to pick up Ozzie. I called work when I got home and asked them to push my vacation for the rest of the day, or mark me absent. Whatever. I had to see my little man. 

Reunited, and it feels so good. 

Now here's a list of things that I want to remember down the road when I come back to reminisce. They won't mean anything to you, and I couldn't find an interesting way to work them into any of the blogs. They're mainly inside jokes that we had while onboard, but if you're curious about any of them, just ask and I'm happy to tell you the story.

Jesse Atwood and The Jesse Atwood Show. Adam Gump, the A-hole bartender. The John Lennon Way. It's always this way. The big, fat man drawing. Rod-red. An eel gets a shoe. A shark chews my gum. 

I lost 20 pounds to go on this trip, and gained 8 pounds onboard. We started Weight Watchers again yesterday. Before the trip I was one pound away from one-derland. I don't remember ever weighing 1XX. I remember being 200-even in high school when I first started weighing myself; in one of my three gym classes per day that I had. My goal is to get to one-derland. 

My friend Rachael pointed out how abruptly yesterday's blog ended. I know it did, and I apologize. It was kinda late (for me), and I wasn't sure if I was going to post one last one, or if yesterday would be the end. I've received great feedback from you about this blog of our cruise. Thank you so very much for reading. I'm glad it entertained you. 

If you're considering a cruise, I say do it. It was 100% fun. I don't know if we'll ever get the chance to do something like this again, but I'm very happy that we did it. 

Let me know if you have any questions, or if you want to just shoot the breeze. 

Peace and love, 

-Nerd Dad

Caribbean Cruise - Day 7 - Cruising

Our last full day on the ship. I was missing Ozzie like I've never missed anything/anyone ever, but it had been such a fun and relaxing week. We went to the pool early to get good chairs in the sun before everyone got out there. There was a self-serve frozen yogurt machine in the pool area. I tried it on the first or second day and it was bad. Today I saw people walking around with cones that looked really good. I tried it again. It was still bad, but I finished it.

We sat by the pool until we were hungry for lunch. We went in around 12:30. All week lunch was served in the main dining hall until 13:30. We arrived at 13:07 and were told that they closed at 13:00 today, so we had lunch at Johnny Rockets quite by accident. Lunch at Johnny Rockets was fun. It was a $5.95 cover charge each, and all you can eat, except milk shakes. Milk shakes cost $4.50 each. I ordered one and they brought (and charged) Megan and I each one.

We went back to our room and packed. It seems that all cruises have you leave your packed luggage in the hall the night before your disembarkation, and they have it waiting for you after you get off the ship. We sadly packed everything we brought, leaving comfortable clothes out to travel in tomorrow. 

Tonight's show in the theater was an Elton John impersonator. We're fans of Elton John; we even saw him live at the Xcel in 2013. The ship was going to pick him up in Grand Cayman and he was going to be the entertainment on Thursday night. Since we never made it there they flew him to Cozumel, and he performed tonight instead. His name was Joel Mason, and it was a comedic show with decent covers of the songs. Cruise director Elise introduced him saying that his luggage was lost and he'd have to perform in what he wore on the airplane. Then he came out in feathers and 7 inch platform shoes. 

We went to dinner in the main hall, and it was good. I had a decent pasta dish and Megan got leg of lamb, with mint jelly and everything. The waiter said it would melt in your mouth, and it did. I tried the mint jelly and it tasted just like spearmint gum. Since it was our last night I asked for two desserts on one plate. 

We went back to our room and set our packed bags in the hall. The comic from last night performed an "adult" show tonight. We went and were underwhelmed. His stage presence and energy were top notch, but he told street jokes and stolen jokes that weren't that funny to begin with. 

This was the first vacation we took where we didn't want to stay a day or two longer. It was just the right length. It was hard to leave paradise, but we were ready to come home the next day. 

Caribbean Cruise - Day 6 - Cozumel, Mexico

With tomorrow being our last day, the first small pangs of sadness started to set in that vacation was ending. We missed Ozzie so bad that we were really ready to see him, but it had been a great week that I didn't want to end. This morning featured chocolate for breakfast in the main dining hall. They had a chocolate shake on the menu that I eagerly ordered. A gal sitting at the table with us also ordered it. We were both given chocolate milk.

We debarked the ship and had an hour or so before we had to get on a bus to a private beach. We looked in the little shops around the port. Megan looked in a jewelry store. After showing interest in a ring, the clerk gave her a price of $525 for it. When she she said "no thanks," he went down to $320. I wonder what she could've got it for if we had the time to play Deal or No Deal.

We got on our bus and were at Playa Mia in 10 minutes. The beach featured a buffet and all you can drink, even alcohol, with the price of the excursion. It was my first time on a beach at an ocean. I really wanted to swim, but the water was cold. I can say that I have stood in an ocean.

There were a few shops as we walked into the beach. I wanted to get my brother a cigar for the ride to and from the airport. One shop was a tobacco shop selling Cuban cigars. If I ever heard anything, it was that Cubans aren't allowed in the US. I asked the proprietor of the shop if I'd have any trouble taking it into the States, and he said no. I asked again before I paid the $15 for the cigar, and he said that if I was worried about it I could take the label off and tuck it in my wallet, and he'd glue a Mexican label to it. Then, when I gave it as a gift, I could give the 'real' Cuban label with it. Since he offered that option, I took him up on it. (No one said a word about it coming back into the States, but I got this story out of it)

There was also a Mexican chocolate shop. Being a chocoholic, I was happy to go through it and try some samples. I didn't care for the chocolate at this store. The bars were $8 USD. They had what looked like a Slushy machine churning frozen chocolate. A drink was $4; and I didn't get the chocolate shake I ordered for breakfast. A gentleman served one up for me and told me to pay for it at the register. Walking to the register I took a sip of it, and it didn't even taste like chocolate. It was really bad, so I set it down, left the store, and got on our bus to go back to the port. It wasn't until I got on the bus that I realized that I was in a foreign country and technically go be thrown into a Mexican jail over a $4 chocolate drink. It was a relief when the bus pulled away and no one came looking for me. 

We got back from the beach, and back on the ship around 15:30. We got ready for our second formal night on board. I donned my suit, and Megan wore her rockin' dress she bought right before the cruise. Each night our only worry was "should we go to the show, and then dinner, or dinner first and then the show?" We went to the show first tonight. 

The show featured a so-so comedian, Steve Shaffer, for 15 minutes, and then a guy from the song and dance shows earlier in the week singing big band swing tunes. That's Life, Mac The Knife, etc. It was the weakest show in the theater all week, but the price was right. After the show we went to the main hall for formal dinner. I got the linguini that they offered every night, and I can honestly say that it was food. Megan always wanted to try Baked Alaska, and they featured it for dessert tonight. 

Baked Alaska

We went to something called The Quest Game Show in the ice arena at 22:00. It was billed only as an "adult scavenger hunt." And "you'll be hooked within the first few minutes." They split the audience into eight teams. They asked for a man and woman volunteer to be the team captains. A girl in our section popped up right away. No man would budge in our section, so I went down there to represent our team. There were boards over the ice. The host, our cruise director Elise, explained the game. She would ask for items that the captains would have to get from people in the sections and bring to her. No one would have to leave the arena to get the items.

Most of the items were made to embarrass the guys. There were only about four other guys in my section, and they were all pretty shy, so the team captain, yours truly, had to come up with most of the items/requests. When Elise asked for a man wearing pants inside out and backwards, I took off my pants (In front of everyone) and flipped them. When she asked for 2 shoelaces from a pair of men's shoes, the other captain fell to the floor and ripped them out of my shoes. I also had to show a tan line, and do the Can-Can topless with three other burly guys. 

It was a spring break-type of game. It was definitely geared toward a younger adult audience, and if I wasn't captain we probably wouldn't have stayed until the end. Our team didn't win the game. I thought the winning team would win an awesome prize after all of that, but I didn't see any prizes given out. Megan thought they won hats. Either way, I'm glad I experienced it, and even happier that I got the chocolate shake I had been craving since breakfast at the Ben & Jerry's next to the 24 hour cafe; and it was delicious. We hit the hay at about 00:30. 

Our last towel animal

Up next: Day 7 - Cruising